Start/Stop : BBC Radio 4 FM : August 12, 2016 11:30AM-12:00PM BST
There Is No Preview Available For This Item
This item does not appear to have any files that can be experienced on Archive.org.
Please download files in this item to interact with them on your computer.
Show all files
Barney and Cathy come up with a plan to find out which of them is the most attractive.
🔗 Much because if you were a poet.
🔗 You were not expected at the age of thirty to stop writing your poetry you write
🔗 your poetry to you can write no more and
🔗 that might be your last poem just before you die. I believe the same with them.
🔗 So just because my legs won't kick
🔗 and I can't do huge leaps of double pirouettes doesn't mean
🔗 that don't through me isn't still eloquent.
🔗 I'm wanting to speak
🔗 and move my speaking the movement is the down the chest moving up
🔗 and down the eyelids and closing.
🔗 So I believe my last dumps will be my last link
🔗 but of course there may be more dunces after
🔗 that ARE
🔗 YOU LISTENING TO dumped your life away the cello music was composed
🔗 and performed by Jack in Johnson and the programme is presented
🔗 and produced by BT Rubens Moammar Khayyam
🔗 car companies. I would be good to get both from Palm Grove Harbor.
🔗 I'm sure
🔗 but bar inside the venue of our go B.B.C.
🔗 Radio four extra season of musical finishes with a story about love in charge of
🔗 them and say you could have anything in the world you wanted.
🔗 It's the thought of my build him have all the five kids miss
🔗 tomorrow morning at night now on B.B.C.
🔗 Radio four grown up humor about three long married couples starring Kerry got lemon.
🔗 John Thompson Sienna Allen Charlie Higson Laura Aikman and Jack Daugherty.
🔗 This week. Bonnie
🔗 and Kathy find a risky way of settling a bet which of them is now the most to try.
🔗 To other people along down the mad line.
🔗 Don't start by Jack talking to
🔗 thinking just wondering what happened in a week all that left over by the night
🔗 and eyes where you think I'll just if we split so who get more action.
🔗 To me wouldn't you think so.
🔗 You of on this punk you know via white.
🔗 When you're talking about roll over in the back in the day.
🔗 Now back to that baby I'm talking to now who's main just age better than women.
🔗 Julianne mole.
🔗 Helen Mirren Susan Sarandon Yeah but really Julianne Moore There's a thousand.
🔗 Oh I was about to say like you know.
🔗 That when the played well.
🔗 I thought I was
🔗 and not like Julianne Moore Yeah like he's aged well like a mature is still ten
🔗 veiny and sweaty and you can see and you can smell him from the God
🔗 For your information someone hey tell me last night the whites are in
🔗 and I'm not and it was bleak
🔗 or if we try to find some socketed Mary so we can get up.
🔗 For the save from Frankford so he probably doesn't need a possible first
🔗 date terms of that.
🔗 Oh the steed like twenty's early thirty's
🔗 and these are for your money to speak here. You're so naive Kathy.
🔗 Well I haven't seen you being multiple recently. Well I'm not on the market.
🔗 I'm not putting the volleyed giving them beyond.
🔗 You genuinely saying that you're more attractive than me I am. Yeah.
🔗 I was go as far as to say. Mark.
🔗 Katz and I came in. Interesting. Well.
🔗 We're going to down the pub and see you get picked up kind of tinder.
🔗 Tinder that were the dating. Most rights White's win for real.
🔗 And delicious exile and we really are very clever.
🔗 Well once I work out what had to be hope it was strange raining.
🔗 And funny. I really have hit the bull's eye.
🔗 Now I thought we might go to the antiquarian bookseller this dolphin
🔗 and there's a talk on seventeenth century Portuguese cartography and just
🔗 when I thought the roller coaster couldn't get any more thrilling.
🔗 Oh I'm sorry that I have with evening. You really dark slow.
🔗 I can't believe you'd rather spend the evening with a bowl of fruit than me oh
🔗 we've got proof behind. We're on light study now like study what you nudity.
🔗 Yes What a way to spend an evening painting some exhibitionist old lady.
🔗 Is the man actually right.
🔗 So she spends her evening in the company of a naked man not the greatest news I've
🔗 ever had. I may be the Lucien Freud lardy Butterball with no worry.
🔗 But what if he's a delicate was a marble butter to Dona spread eagle on a raft.
🔗 How do I find out. I have to be sly. Was he like.
🔗 You then supplementing is income while he trained for the Olympics.
🔗 You didn't put even.
🔗 Crown balls. Rowing.
🔗 I think the Italians have as it's still a strong team at the moment.
🔗 Now if you tally and just suddenly wondered into our marriage. Right.
🔗 I need to remind her that she doesn't need a beefburger
🔗 when she's got a thirty five day aged steak
🔗 and you know what Alex what are you part is all me all strip.
🔗 If you get the oils I'll drink myself over the breakfast bar.
🔗 Oh David I'd love to
🔗 but I've got to get a homemade think Cleena.
🔗 Sink cleaner you hope your life will spill out like a sensual French film
🔗 but more often than not it's like an informational for Bishop's Stortford.
🔗 OK what's your profile.
🔗 You like you might be a kid in another car who got in front of the telly.
🔗 Yeah was killed. I was married a simpleton.
🔗 When you see it in black and white.
🔗 You know guzzling cake
🔗 and watching Ice Road Truckers because I think he's a poor kid is going to be a
🔗 Let's say you're saying you're really looking at taking about three
🔗 stones ago.
🔗 If you didn't like breaking so much stress by diving
🔗 you were once in a cell.
🔗 Yes I went with the intention of skydiving. And I were right.
🔗 Wait till you hear this one.
🔗 Everyone I have married a pretentious stake is only going in for a quote.
🔗 As another call said Reality is the only word
🔗 that should be in inverted commas is what the quote.
🔗 It's intriguing you want to quote it fits the picture.
🔗 Well how about who I told a PI. OK fair enough.
🔗 What's a girl like the school and see what happens ready ready.
🔗 OK we're in the House today. I've been right swiped.
🔗 Already let me see. Yeah no no I don't quite good looking. You don't my type.
🔗 He doesn't do skydiving.
🔗 So you got anyone yet given the new circulate.
🔗 Words spreading around the conduct community.
🔗 There's a new guy and another what I don't know that I don't know.
🔗 We have lift off there we go. I've got one that said look let me say it was a.
🔗 Oh well and some story and that's
🔗 when like they thought I had been beaten by a better woman should I pack your bags.
🔗 Was she wearing. I think the Ukrainian national trend.
🔗 And why she holding the chicken dowry.
🔗 I can love it don't jump to judgment and don't play no telephone nation bolts.
🔗 Would you mind if I won some tend not sign
🔗 and if you want to bring anyone back you can do them up stairs and how bad the day.
🔗 Amy outs. Bonnie's on to and what.
🔗 It's good to know. Yes because she's only. Robin a competition.
🔗 And I want to piece of the action. I want to take Bonnie down. I'm back.
🔗 Look at the name and he's always thought eighty's better look in the make
🔗 but he's not announced my chance to prove it.
🔗 Every male friendship is a fight to the death.
🔗 We may be having a friendly kick about all comparing jobs but underneath.
🔗 It's a Western saloon and it's dance feller dance.
🔗 Doesn't really mean this much get a chance to humiliate to destroy my best friend.
🔗 So why Bonnie get more right twice
🔗 when you go on plays well maybe you're not to everyone say I mean I like it
🔗 but you you may be a little bit special interest.
🔗 What do you mean special interests. Well you know in the top shelf.
🔗 You know the song. Read their magazines the slightly odd take you know the.
🔗 The ground is the fatties you're not cats agree. Just so if you look at my profile.
🔗 There's nothing special about being interested in that.
🔗 Oh my God I wish you could see this is wearing a kind of dress shit
🔗 but he can button to his belly
🔗 and there's a lot further on Shoney's he could look at his face
🔗 and I think he's going for a cheeky twinkle But it's it's going to cross the site
🔗 like he's looking into two different directions
🔗 but they may be deliberate maybe trying to attract them to a time haven't you
🔗 to link the sure about the tagline on the photo. Fancy a bit of this.
🔗 Yes because women still respond to the caveman machismo
🔗 it's weird.
🔗 Even when your husband's trying to attract to the women you can
🔗 or want to help him. I think you should lose the tag line
🔗 and maybe go with another photo who of those has a history with women leave it to
🔗 the experts I've had many many many many women before usually
🔗 many many many many right let's go live
🔗 cameras all have a good leap.
🔗 Give me a moment the curtain is going to get its work in the church hall
🔗 and I want to bring my painting Athena see what it looks like right well that's a
🔗 provocative move in a high stakes game hanging your painting of a young naked
🔗 Italian rower at the bottom of the marital bed. What he's saying is jolly good.
🔗 If he sees part.
🔗 So that's what twenty year old buttocks look like the combined age of his buttocks
🔗 don't even add up to the age of one of my daughters.
🔗 He didn't have to have a good story in a court of buttocks to talk to my one
🔗 but a god. Life is cruel. Even when I had. Buttocks like that.
🔗 I didn't have buttocks like that. So.
🔗 It was the other side of the painting like you know what I mean.
🔗 Oh well a bit disappointing to be honest but then it was cold.
🔗 Yes. Disappointing.
🔗 He may have Adela quite OS but he's from size around the front.
🔗 So nothing like nothing like yours no honestly he's so proud of
🔗 it and it's like putting him a Sadie's symbol on a clapped out hundreds seasick.
🔗 Reisa like that when he had to watch.
🔗 Yes I did want to check on the camera school.
🔗 You say probable.
🔗 So that's twenty seven and counting. That's just Maine for you.
🔗 They're not very discerning they're like dogs on heat.
🔗 I mean if you got Bonnie he's got one so far I'm playing the long game.
🔗 I will get you up on how many you want in the event.
🔗 Yet you want to be Bonnie and the only reason.
🔗 Now I didn't go on in the end he was to childish.
🔗 So you upload your profile now took it down the house can see which of the photos
🔗 to go to give it back to people I look at a coffee.
🔗 Well well look here is
🔗 I'd be careful if you two ever get to go to Kiev.
🔗 She's. Ukrainian Boni right.
🔗 She's holding a chicken by any chance.
🔗 Anyone know the corn one this is unbelievable.
🔗 Maybe we should go on a double take when the Tanya. See you.
🔗 She prefers what she said in a message to you you out of my special interest.
🔗 Yes a man will bat means that she's. Especially interested in it.
🔗 Yeah yeah yeah it's broken English.
🔗 It's not that she thinks we're a kind of top shelf weed special interest pot boy.
🔗 Now she's just she just a woman looking for a good time a few lines
🔗 and a coupe and
🔗 and maybe a can.
🔗 Oh it's come to this you think if we were great he would be having all this trouble
🔗 no no. Oh that's a great thing about being gay is a life long for a girl.
🔗 If we were gay.
🔗 If you think more action to me wouldn't be the
🔗 group. What are you talking about no chat.
🔗 Care to make it interesting grind grind.
🔗 Right. Hello everyone. It.
🔗 Where you can only be explained. Ollie now.
🔗 I think it's great that poor Dana has to founded a limpy an effort by modeling.
🔗 So I've paid him of infill obviously that leaves.
🔗 The no shaped hole in proceedings but I am more than happy to stand in and plug it.
🔗 They get me. My wife everyone.
🔗 She seen it all before of coke every nook and cranny she.
🔗 Stolen a march on the wall. Now I'll just drop the kimono.
🔗 And then when you want me reclining on the autumn when would
🔗 that be to everyone's liking. I apologize in advance. It is rather cold.
🔗 UNAMA little nervous. So I hope it isn't a disappointment for you all so here goes.
🔗 Right. I'll just lie down and stretch out now when you want this.
🔗 So why should I drape it over my thigh so.
🔗 You want to feel it standing over the side of the ottoman.
🔗 Not everyone does.
🔗 Enough with it as you all did for come on you might be a little bit proud at the
🔗 gaffes in the attempt
🔗 and you're not going to talk well with painting you know what I need to know we
🔗 have a pet name for it
🔗 and I mean they seem very interested to hear about the pipeline
🔗 and when was Mrs Murchison OK She fainted stingy.
🔗 No she was just a little startled not just the thing I thought she captured it
🔗 maybe well. Well you guys of today.
🔗 Alice is painting and I'm modeling life study.
🔗 Oh what a shame they won't get to see it then the studies.
🔗 Well we're having an exhibition up the looks kind of.
🔗 If I do hope they hang the paintings Well it's because then they'll be well how
🔗 long I thought I'll just settle the tab on this.
🔗 Sorry about that now. Don't tell. Holly for getting it.
🔗 Damn the paintings and what do you guys up there.
🔗 Oh we just work you know I'm trying to profile.
🔗 The site.
🔗 Yes it's a badge who's more attractive to gay men which way you think will go the
🔗 net. Depends which category you're going for category.
🔗 Yet there are so many subcultures engaged life.
🔗 Google it. Well she has. You know she's right. You know.
🔗 Bad as twinks little boys. It's a minefield.
🔗 I just don't know which could be trying to appeal to all COBOL might just be opt
🔗 out. Between. Before ours.
🔗 Nothing Ommaney that nothing not a hate to make the scene.
🔗 Yeah maybe we should rethink our profiles.
🔗 And I want to cheat but shave a few years off the photos.
🔗 What do you reckon is a gallery agency
🔗 carries gallery minor grinded How did you know
🔗 I'm here. How do you know I'm anywhere G.P.X..
🔗 It's a local pub but I didn't reply was obviously just take it a punt.
🔗 But we'll see. Right. You know it's raining is it I don't think so.
🔗 I didn't have a chicken physically. Well it's not my colleagues to be honest.
🔗 With that special interest. Can you tell him to see you tell him silly.
🔗 No I don't want to appear homophobic alright but you know let him down gently.
🔗 I have to admit I can't help but feel a little bit flattered. My first gay crush.
🔗 Nice to get the attention. And you go.
🔗 Well he says he understands that we might be a couple
🔗 but if so we still with the three WIFE We are not to sixty eight of being gay
🔗 for less than a day and I'm already in a threesome.
🔗 Only has to go to the all exhibition we don't have to we're not the whole roomful
🔗 of Nike David. I wonder what it looks like in the flesh. I don't think so.
🔗 Interestingly stress they just hearing it to the exclusion of all others penises
🔗 are a subdivision of all.
🔗 Kathy you've always been that side of things satisfying.
🔗 My advice to any young woman starting out on they swallowed Is this a then
🔗 when presented with a to lead just fine panic.
🔗 Give me the whole of what to do where you.
🔗 That kind of thing. Yeah yes more than enough.
🔗 Good good. I'm glad because the reality is it's a bit like
🔗 when you said it arrives at a restaurant and it's not what you wanted
🔗 but you just say to anyway. I'll get it.
🔗 Well this if we could pop into the exhibition but I don't want to stay long.
🔗 There's a gallery to say No I came in he says it
🔗 really like to totally count to go away. The only thing.
🔗 Is kind of my boyfriend.
🔗 What's what we see the bit of a shine to me that had been in Iraq.
🔗 Grinder. He claimed he was back and looking the ME
🔗 and he's not better looking than me. The Gary proves it.
🔗 OK but enough being beaten by you twenty seven one thirty five thirty.
🔗 And you are still stuck a lot.
🔗 Because you just want to see what do you. Tell him it's not him.
🔗 It's me he says you need to understand why release it
🔗 when you start living a lie that you tell him you are my wife.
🔗 Yes And he said he had a wife once.
🔗 What am I going to do you know what I'm like with door to door salesman.
🔗 I can't say no to this about twenty marigolds under the kitchen think I can say no
🔗 that homeless man every relationship I've ever been in was basically because I just
🔗 couldn't say no to every relationship.
🔗 Not you and the pair of America love absolutely no Anyway if we went with
🔗 that analogy you wouldn't be married gold.
🔗 You'd be like the device
🔗 or you know the scraper you know more of a high end luxury item can be.
🔗 I know I mean they stay in the calendar the day I.
🔗 I discovered
🔗 that to my husband I was nothing more than a giant pair of merry go south.
🔗 When by a trend.
🔗 Well I invited him to the exhibition he really likes me he I'll finish was in there.
🔗 Well I'm headed out like. When you go in. I mean bonus replying.
🔗 If you don't see Gary tonight and.
🔗 I don't know why he sees him but he won't worry Afghanis know all
🔗 that message. It is the goal was to be honest.
🔗 He's a very special a national interest.
🔗 Yeah the will of the show will be interesting.
🔗 He says the in part on getting us to change the profiles to remember what I went to
🔗 the office party dressed as one of the village people I could see the chap in the
🔗 dress. You don't want to think to be trying to rob you're probably right.
🔗 Silly me oh being gaining.
🔗 Who would you go for if you were a lesbian difficult.
🔗 A good instinct go lipstick lesbian
🔗 but if you talk of betrayal of the sisterhood so magical for a male idea of beauty.
🔗 So no color Delevingne and sadly no then you would want to go to fold walk in a
🔗 that which you own not the fold walking.
🔗 If we were lesbians who do you think could get more action they may win.
🔗 Try to make it interesting. Guardian so might.
🔗 Let's keep it classy. Well what do you think Alice.
🔗 Not to see them all up on the wall.
🔗 Everywhere you look it's like I'm Indiana Jones in the pits of snakes.
🔗 What do you think of. Mrs Murchison. Yes it's unusual.
🔗 I passed
🔗 and it wouldn't go on a little smiley face on the end of it in this should be
🔗 reverent you know what is the best modelling you really captured me but then it.
🔗 Cause you're intimately acquainted with it. Yeah.
🔗 Financial people be thinking we study the work imagining the two of us together
🔗 maybe reclining you pole vaulter David to
🔗 stop talking about yourself. This is my exhibition this evening is about me.
🔗 Of course not cool. Oh I meant to tell you one of the chat.
🔗 So that he might have to roll out your painting of the poster. How about that.
🔗 It would be the tennis go scratching
🔗 or often those who are here before you most cause an effect is a strange thing
🔗 isn't it. One day you accept a drink from a distinguished looking older man
🔗 and then sixty years later there's a headline in the newspaper penis guy's wife
🔗 dies. OK let's see if we have a winner.
🔗 I mean if you've got just the one. Oh I got you. What about you. Oh I've got you.
🔗 Well. Oh no one else. How about that yet we're still make.
🔗 Well we are good friends economy makes sense. Here we know each other so well.
🔗 Oh God this is all quite all full to change the whole vibe between us because going
🔗 to laugh it off and I must never let her know
🔗 that I just spent the last five minutes imagining having sex with her.
🔗 To get going. So more or less do much.
🔗 Each week a month.
🔗 Did I say munch munch loves. Yeah let's munch some lunch.
🔗 I'll call you tomorrow. But maybe just as well you're not my side.
🔗 What you mean by that would just that you said that you were this
🔗 or into the lipstick lesbian thing so. Well I'm no coward elevating.
🔗 I wasn't saying that what my doctrine. No no no no no you know walking.
🔗 Well that's how you see me isn't it. The fold. Walking mad bad hair in a pair.
🔗 Dungarees Let's wipe you on let's wipe was left white yourself.
🔗 Hello everyone. And in fact have your attention.
🔗 Welcome to the league Catholic tradition we have three rooms that still life.
🔗 The abstract and in the final Royal like study. Featuring my young wife.
🔗 Well after work. David Ritz aligning with the pipeline.
🔗 It's not actually gold
🔗 that I enjoy. You know.
🔗 Just for the life stories room
🔗 and his own burly Farallon Bowl will have sold out in a flash don't
🔗 make no mistake about. Gary. No show.
🔗 Maybe he's not coming over college or
🔗 that no way has no show doesn't negate his initial interest.
🔗 It's still one nil to me oh my god. Barney I've just seen the life studies.
🔗 You should see it if you like a rope.
🔗 It's just dangling a rope over a prison wall.
🔗 It's dragging on the ground.
🔗 I guess expecting to see no prisoners shimmying
🔗 but I much prefer yours. Yeah of course.
🔗 Oh my God Oh not another one both as a book fade a pipe
🔗 and after the baby I'm still open my body.
🔗 Are you coming true to life studies will give you the third.
🔗 Yeah I'll be right there. Dave it's well area. There's a lot to see.
🔗 So the same to you. I sighed.
🔗 You know I don't really fancy seeing your husband's penis.
🔗 That is any consolation to you. Neither do I.
🔗 Not a huge console a should know
🔗 but it's it's something to cling to in the heaving seas of life. Listen.
🔗 If you are now I just want to apologize now nothing to apologize for I apologize.
🔗 I just want you to know that if that did it for me I'd be the luckiest woman alive.
🔗 Oh well thanks Kathy. Same goes for me too.
🔗 Just don't grab a drink till Sunday I'll see you a while I'm going to treatment
🔗 with Fiona we need to make up what happened. Now has to say OK right.
🔗 Looking guy coming out of the lot still the best Gary looks like the fuck.
🔗 Michael go.
🔗 He is not
🔗 that bad film especially Shrek though even top shelf
🔗 and under the count the.
🔗 OK pony when he comes over to just say hi and then explain the whole stupid and.
🔗 Just nodded at me. Oh shucks talk to David. He's laughing.
🔗 That's a very switch I just looked he said you know for Dave you didn't.
🔗 Alison a little this unbelievable get your hands off of him he's my marigolds
🔗 shamanistic or on the just plain insensitive.
🔗 Well it's all nil no fairness just does that's what we're going to do.
🔗 Oh well we could try to a new bar in town
🔗 but the Ukrainian place to do it will pick up a ticket on the way
🔗 top stop was written by Jack talkative.
🔗 It's our floor a can be an island. Jack Daugherty carry government.
🔗 Charlie Higson and John Thompson the producer was clad Jones
🔗 and it was a radio comedy production
🔗 Radio four chilling drama tracks continues.
🔗 Listening to play Legend the
🔗 plane crash has left many unanswered questions that someone.